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Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Take my voice and let me sing
always, only, for my King;
take my lips and let them be
filled with messages from thee.

Take my silver and my gold;
not a mite would I withhold;
take my intellect and use
every power as thou shalt choose.

Frances Ridley Havergal’s “Take My Life” (tune: Hendon)
from Glory to God: The Presbyterian Hymnal

I struggle to believe it— that God is interested in my life (Genesis 17:7); that Jesus truly is the King of kings and the Lord of lords (Revelation 19:6); that the Trinity is making all things new (Revelation 21:5). I can articulate these truths. I went to school and learned it. I parsed it out—verse after verse and doctrine after doctrine. I can walk you through the ongoing redemptive story—Genesis to Revelation. I can talk with you about the significance and meaning of Baptism and the Lord’s Supper. I can communicate the reality of our original sin and the immense power and transformation of Jesus’ resurrection. Yet amidst the rolling out of all this information, I struggle to hold it, ingest it, and believe it—down in the deepest parts of my organs and bones.

Despite this struggle to believe, I will have these moments, varied spots and times, like in the car down the highway and the music takes me in and I sing. It’s hard to explain, but you know it, the moment when something deeper inside of you is connecting. The song leads and overtakes your emotions. It’s like a spring and it flows within to without, often tears mark its work. You’re not even sure what it is, but you know that it is,and then reality hits and you’re knee deep in tears, you’re singing and you’re driving down the freeway—but you feel so much better, like you just let go of something.

I wonder if these are the moments when I believe the most. The inarticulate “crying in the car because a song got me” moment. I tell myself that I struggle to believe and yet my bones and organs say “No! You believe!” and they lead me and I well up, spring out, and release—praise, deep and meaningful praise—to a King and Lord who knows my name and is making me new.

Father God, the Loving One, please take my life and my voice and make me new, from the inside out. Amen.

Written by Daniel Holladay, Senior High Youth Coordinator

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