Saturday, June 22, 2024  

Today's Scripture
Matthew 18:21–35

Then Peter came and said to him, “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times. For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” (NRSV)

Reflection

In high school, “forgive and forget” was a popular phrase. It seems like a lovely idea, but it unintentionally created pressure, especially for girls and young women, to be doormats. It reminds me of the issue we can run into with “turn the other cheek.”

It’s easy for “forgive and forget” to be misinterpreted as “forgive someone when they wrong you, forget it happened, and keep on keeping on as usual.” That third piece, although implied and not stated, is problematic. “Forgive and forget” is supposed to mean “forgive and don’t hold a grudge.” For example, if your partner messes up and you forgive them and stay together, don’t throw it back in their face when you fight. However, it also means that if your partner messes up, you can forgive them and still end the relationship.

Forgiving and forgetting doesn’t have to mean you allow the person who wronged you to occupy the same space in your life — or to stay in your life at all. That’s true for all kinds of relationships, not just romantic ones. I’m not saying we should be quick to write people off. What I am saying is that it’s an option. We’re called to forgive, to forgive others their trespasses; we’re not called to pretend like nothing happened.

Prayer
Holy God, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And at the same time, give us the discernment, wisdom, and courage to love and care for ourselves. Amen.

Written by Nicole Spirgen, Member of Fourth Presbyterian Church

Reflection and Prayer © Fourth Presbyterian Church

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