Blessed to Be a Blessing

Victoria G. Curtiss
Associate Pastor, Fourth Presbyterian Church

Psalm 66:5–12, 16–20
1 Peter 3:8–12

The reason that God rewards faithfulness is because faithful people share their blessing with others.

Anne Robertson

A young family crowded into their car and headed toward a small town that could be their new home if the dad took a new job there. As they drove in, the mom saw a woman out in her yard, so they pulled over. The dad got out and asked her, “What are the people like in this town?” She asked him, “What were they like in the last town you lived in?” He replied, “Oh, they were awful. People gossiped a lot, complained about their neighbors, found fault in one another, held grudges, and were quick to pick a fight.” “Well,” the woman said, “that’s what you will find in this town.”

Later it happened that another person was driving into the same town and saw the same woman gardening in her yard. The driver stopped her car, got out, and said, “I’m thinking about moving here. What are the people like in this town?” The gardener responded, “What were they like in the last town you lived in?” The woman replied, “Oh, they were great! People were really nice and friendly with each other. They looked out for each other’s homes when someone went out of town. They called on their neighbors when someone was in the hospital, and when a problem arose, they brought out the best in one another, forgave one another, and worked together to solve the issue.” “Well,” said the gardening woman, “that’s what you will find in this town.”

Isn’t it true that our experience of life depends so much on whether we carry a loving, hopeful approach to it or a divisive, discouraging approach? Do you live as if you have been blessed or have been a victim?

Certainly there are people whose lives have brought them much pain not of their own doing. There are people who suffer from illness or grief, abuse or neglect. There are people who are mistreated and diminished because of their race or age or income level. But it makes a big difference what we do with that pain. We can choose to embrace fully that we are made in the image of God and live as people healed and made whole by God’s grace, or we can live as people crippled and stuck in bitterness, angry and resentful.

In the first letter of Peter, it says, “Do not repay evil for evil or abuse for abuse; but, on the contrary, repay with a blessing. It is for this that you are called—that you might inherit a blessing.” We are blessed to be a blessing.

The Apostle Paul wrote something similar to the Romans: “Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse them.” Over and over again we find this theme: Christians are called to bless and not to curse.
The truth of the matter is, we find out who we are from other people.

John Updike said, “We get our bearings daily from other people.” You tell someone over and over again that they are a failure, or that they won’t amount to very much, and pretty soon they’ll begin to act that way. Do you know what you’ve done to them when you do that? You’ve cursed them. You haven’t uttered any voodoo. You haven’t stuck pins in a doll or anything like that. But you have just as effectively put a curse upon them. You tell a little child she is not going to amount to much, or compare children with others invidiously, and that’s a curse, too. They grow up believing they don’t amount to much. They will probably do some self-defeating thing when they grow older just to prove the curse that was put on them.

On the other hand, it is quite different if you tell people that they are created in the image of God, that God loves them, and that they have great potential, that they can even fail and it doesn’t matter because we all make mistakes. You can honestly tell others this—to do better because they are children of God, so keep on trying. And the likelihood is that they will keep on trying to do and be their best and will eventually succeed in life. So you have given them a blessing.

Or you tell a child that she is unique, that there is nobody else quite like her, and therefore what she has to offer in this life is unlike what anybody else can offer, no matter what it is, and she will be celebrated and received as a gift, because it has come from you. She won’t be valued in comparison to others’ talents or gifts. When you do that, especially with children, you bless them. And they will be blessed, and their life will blossom.

A little boy in preschool was blessed with a great teacher who awarded the little children for whatever they did well. She recognized their achievements by giving them an award. The award was a great big star on their clothing. This little boy came home from preschool with a big star on his shirt. His mother said, “What did you do to earn that star?” He said, “I am the best rester!” The teacher blessed that little child.

We are all made in the image of God, and there is a wonderful life waiting for each one of us because of God’s love for us. But in large part, we receive that life from other people, in the sense that it is other people who tell us who we are and what we’re worth. That’s why Peter said, “Bless, don’t curse, for to this you were called.”

Derrick Dawson is an African American man who grew up on the South Side of Chicago. I heard part of his story when he was leading an antiracism training at our church this past week. He gave me permission to share it with you. Derrick was raised by his parents to value and pursue higher education. He did well academically and attended a university in Colorado. For one of his classes he wrote an excellent paper on homelessness and bag ladies. After the professor had graded the students’ papers, they were all distributed except for his. The professor instead asked Derrick to meet him in his office. He said to Derrick, “I don’t believe you wrote this paper. You’re a black boy who grew up on the South Side of Chicago.” Though Derrick attested that he had written it, the professor made him take blank paper and write a new paper in front of him. That experience had a scarring impact on Derrick and was one of the most shameful moments in his life, because at the time he felt he had no choice but to succumb to his professor’s humiliation. He was even tempted to give up on his education and career track.

Fast forward to Derrick’s involvement in an Episcopal church in Chicago. His African American, gay priest encouraged all members of that congregation to go through antiracism training. Derrick did that, which moved him to view himself and the incident that happened to him in college in a new light. His college professor was not just acting out a personal racial prejudice. He was a product and embodiment of systemic racism, where those in positions of power misuse that power against others based on their race. His diminishing treatment of Derrick had nothing to do with Derrick’s worth or abilities.

Later Derrick worked for a major law firm in Chicago. He was part of a legal team working over the weekend on a big case. It was in the earliest days of cell phones, when people were talking a lot about their phones and how to use them. After one of the conference calls of the team, the team manager didn’t hang up his phone and so his comments were recorded on Derrick’s phone. He could hear that the managing lawyer was asked by another how it all was going. The manager responded, “Pretty well, except our firm has hired too many n*****s.” Derrick didn’t want to believe what he heard. He asked his sister to listen and say what she heard. She confirmed it. Then, because of his training in antiracism, Derrick decided to bring a suit against his firm. He not only won but proceeded to work at the same firm for another decade. In that decade he worked with others to break the curse of racism. They transformed that practice by intentionally and strategically creating an effective pipeline that led to many people of color being employed in that law firm.

Now you might say, “Wait, Derrick sued his law firm. How is that following the teachings of scripture? Isn’t that repaying evil with evil, or abuse with abuse, instead of responding with a blessing?” But think about it. When you are breaking the curse of racism and injustice, you are making way for a blessing. It is a blessing to stop abuse and evil from reoccurring. Racism hurts not only people of color but white people in power. We must be careful not to assume that giving others a blessing means simply being nice or going along with the status quo or going along to get along. Returning evil or abuse with a blessing can mean working for justice so that all people may thrive as God’s beloved children.

The letter 1 Peter gives suggestions for how to be a blessing. Several things are listed: have unity of spirit, sympathy and love for everyone, plus a tender heart and a humble mind.

A humble mind. This means giving others the benefit of the doubt, thinking the best of others, respecting and honoring others’ gifts. A humble mind means not being arrogant, not assuming you know what is best, not passing judgment on others as if you yourself were better than they are. It also means believing that others are capable of change and calling forth their highest selves.

A tender heart. The Greek word for this means “compassionate.” It’s the capacity to feel what other people are feeling, to put yourself in another person’s place, to enter into another’s life so that you can understand better what they may be going through. For example, Rachel Gregersen, who is black, and her husband, Erik, who is white, noticed that their eight-year-old daughter was the only African American in her class at school. Rachel said, “I was seeing the world through my daughter’s eyes for the first time. It’s important for children to see a reflection of themselves, to see the beauty in themselves and know they’re not odd.” She and her husband decided to transfer their daughter to a school with a greater mix of black and white students (Chicago Tribune, 19 May 2017). Their concern is also why it is important for our church to have people of color leading worship and serving as church officers, to have music from many cultures, such as the anthem the choir sang beautifully this morning, and for us to notice if a person of color is sitting alone in a pew and joining him or her. It’s why it is important for our church members to go through anti-racism training, which you will have an opportunity to do this coming September. We need to learn to convey intentionally that God—and we—value everyone and help all feel that they belong in our community.

Being compassionate means to share in others’ suffering. It may mean simply going over to their home and making them a pot of tea, or visiting them in the hospital, or writing a note of encouragement or sympathy, or making a phone call. It doesn’t take much to be a blessing in another’s life. You don’t need to have answers. You actually don’t need to say much of anything. It is your loving presence that matters. What suffering people want and understand is a caring presence, being with them.

Having a tender heart also means loving yourself and refusing to accept as reality that others can diminish you and, in so doing, hurt themselves. There is something in each of us that cries out, “I am a human being, a child of God. Treat me that way.” And we who are Christians are called precisely to do that very thing: to be tenderhearted, with a humble mind—to be a blessing.

Our Lord Jesus Christ was tenderhearted. He didn’t condemn anyone. He didn’t regard the external reality of anyone’s life. He looked at what was inside everyone. He didn’t abuse his exalted power over others but reached out, especially to those whom society marginalized, and proclaimed that they were loved as God’s beloved children. He invited people into new life and called forth the best in them. He didn’t look only on what we have done but on what we can be. We can live into our fullness as people made in the image of God, Jesus believed, if only we know who we are. He came to tell us who we are, not only with his words but also his deeds, his deeds of tender compassion. And we who follow Christ as his disciples are called to do and be the same (Mark Trotter, the sermon “How to Be a Blessing,” 9 May 1999).

Be a blessing with a tender heart and a humble mind—this is our calling. Amen.