Reading 38 • October 21
Today's Scripture
1 Samuel 2:1–10
Hannah prayed and said, “My heart exults in the Lord; my strength is exalted in my God. My mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in my victory. “There is no Holy One like the Lord, no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God. Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the Lord is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed. The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble gird on strength. Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread, but those who were hungry are fat with spoil. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn. The Lord kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up. The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low, he also exalts. He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap, to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the Lord’s, and on them he has set the world. “He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness; for not by might does one prevail. The Lord! His adversaries shall be shattered; the Most High will thunder in heaven. The Lord will judge the ends of the earth; he will give strength to his king, and exalt the power of his anointed.”(NRSV)
Reflection
Hannah’s prayer of thanksgiving is a testimony to the power of God — a litany of seemingly impossible acts, including gifting children to a previously barren woman.
Like so many women, I can empathize with Hannah. I spent many years longing for a child before the arrival of my son. My life plan had always been to get married and have two kids. For most of my life, it was a simple question of when. But after the end of a relationship in my early thirties, that when was abruptly replaced with an if.
It was a painful paradigm shift — to come to terms with the possibility that being a mother might not be in God’s plan for me. Eventually I realized the need to let go of that dream and begin imagining a new life for myself. If the answer to this prayer was no, what other things could fill my life?
I started to consider the positives of not having children: more time to spend with my parents, sister, and friends, and more opportunities to serve on committees at church. I’d have more financial freedom to travel and support causes close to my heart. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
My petitions to God shifted from asking for a child to asking for the knowledge of, and desire for, God’s plan.
My journey through the pain of longing for a child ends like Hannah’s — with the blessing of a healthy baby boy. I am immensely grateful for my son. I’m also deeply grateful for the experience of being forced to let go of my own plan. I have no doubt it’s a life lesson I’ll need to draw on again in the future.
Prayer
Lord, you are the generous God of impossible gifts, the teacher of difficult lessons, and the One worthy of all my trust. May I find comfort in that truth the next time the certainty of when becomes the doubt of if. Amen.
Written by Nicole Spirgen, Member of Fourth Presbyterian Church
Reflection and Prayer © Fourth Presbyterian Church
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